The emergence of my Messiah

Alas.

Some corny early teenagehood imagination has became reality.

I remembered those times. We were'nt old enough to become self-expressing teenagers but could easily be passed on as a dependent child. Millions of questions was creating a spiral loop inside my brain in conjunction with all those physical and emotional changes. It was definitely a time of confusion. The pre-process of finding your worth and role as an individual. To pass that pre-adolesence stage mentally intact will always be considered as a significant developmental milestone through this 20 years of life.

The topic was a blend of stupid kiddie chatter and adult wannabe talks resulting in conversations about the occurence of Indonesia having a war with America and the (most unlogical) debate of who will win. The winner ussually is the one with the lamest argument but addressed in such convincing way, i.e. degrading the other debaters thus getting laughs and not to mention support from common peers. The single topic I won't have trouble recalling, since I bought this up and to my satisfaction won the debate, is whether an Indonesian porn star will exist anytime in the near future. I remembered one of my 12-year-old peer postulation emphasizing that this may already happen. "A Indonesian millionaire could already done this. He pays some beautiful model and fucks them for himself in camera. Or he hires some other Indonesian male to fuck." "Well, thats means there's still no existence of an official Indonesian porn-star. Like that just a one time job it ain't professional.", I hastily argued. "But, someone fucking on camera must be a porn-star!!! Don't be stupid. Maybe your mom is in one of those." he snapped back adding that all too common trash talk whilst the teasing laughter of fellow spectators got louder, something done in the adolescence stage or older would inevitably got someone stabbed. "Fuck you!! Maybe your brainless mother who borned your brainless ass does that beside the bus terminal while riding the bus drivers cock. The concept of porn-star means someone who fucks in front of a video gets paid and the film is published, dumbass." "Hahahahahahaha", again roaring laughter followed after those few profanity words were throwed around. "Let me tell you this. One day a beautiful model with pure Indonesian blood would pose in Playboy. And this will look so classy with the setting of our nature and her naked body. Anyway, I don't like a cute Indo girl being fucked disrespectly by some over sized hormone injected caucasion." Still remembered the nodding and gestures of agreement that moment. "Yeah, that would be cool. Then I'll make a classy magazine with nude models from other South East Asian countries like Philiphines, Thailand, and Indonesia. Sell it all around the world and make a fortune.", as I added my ideas quickly to seize that exact moment.

Well, yesterday I saw Tiara Lestari a pure breed Indonesian model from Solo, Central Java bare it all in Penthouse Australia Januari 2006 edition. I have'nt exactly saw it yet, although got some of her nude pics form the internet thanks to the information that a hot Indonesian model has posed for the Spanish edition of Playboy. The picture portfolio I saw was quite good until I remembered the scene I described above. Wow, childhood fantasies do come (partly) true after all. Well, now after being more morally mature I'm certainly aware that owning some porn publishing company will lower my status in level standard as a drug dealer, "the demoraliser of innocent kids" would be a nice title to avoid anytime.

As dicussing porn would not get you anywhere but fantasizing girls you-know-you-wish-to-sleep-with-but-will-undoubtly-fail and getting your penis erect for all the wrong reasons I learned a very good lesson here.

"Your unfulfilled dreams are someone elses reality. Strive for it and may it became yours to cherish." -R.U.S

p.s. : guys, don't be hypocritical here. Is A$11.75 worth to see my early-teens fantasy as a reality? Hmm, such a stupid question. I'll grab it as tommorow sun's start shinning. woohoooo!!