Wisdom Tooth

Living in a island far far away there are many consequences you have to face. The distance from home is enough to create havoc in altering your actual sense of who you are. Give it a few months the disparity evolves into being emotionally detached from the people whom presence makes a difference in selecting the right life passage. And the challenges (a positive sided subtitute for misfortunes) doesn't stop. There are people about in this far far land who are simply applying the Darwinian survival for the fittest approach. Manipulation would be such a toned down language to describe what this far far land has to offer. The pandora box and any asociation made to it in reference to this land will only undermine the context of its people's behavior. The island inhabitor communicates through reciprocity the simbiosis mutualism concept wrapped nicely to ensure the helping hand gesture. Ensures that the face to look so straight whenever the residents mingles and are prescribed to welcome each other wholeheartedly and despise them in certain cliques. To conclude this piece of rambling I must say that this islands makes me more mature and most importantly more wise.

But, hold your breath because I'm just starting to prove a pointless argument. And you know it means another set of rambling.

Supposedly, being more mature and more wise gives an individual better decision making, somewhat stable personality, and higher level of insight. However, in practice I often see those compounds as being smarter in manipulating the enviroment, an increased ability to disclose superficiality, and a set of perception emphasizing the negative intrinsic nature of the world. I hypothesizes theory and practice will always be distinct from each other due to the context. In a vacuum controled world the outcome of maturity and wisdom would fit the former. Sad to say, the world we live in is not flat. It consists of valleys and peaks. And those factors are the ones why the lighter views of life most of the time contrast with reality.

Trust me. Grim, is not a trait that I possess. Nevertheless, this dark posting may have you readers (I must be so arrogant to put in the plural form here) thinking otherwise. The matter of fact, I'm very happy, nope very thrilled to have found the one philosophical life question that I have been searching from my late elementary school days.

"How should your definition of yourself be in line with what you present to others and actually get others definition on yourself consistent with how you define yourself?"

And no, the above question isn't grammatically incorrect. It's just needs good IQ.

The answer.

Be a chameleon.

This doesn't mean being a two face backstabbing asshole.

On the contrary, it means you must be what enviroments entitles you to be.

Be genuine and show no tricks-under-the-sleeve-power-playing-blackmail to your true friends.

Be nice, authentically kind and do those acts with the heart of a good-samaritan-don't-expect-anything-in-return-of-way to your friends.

Be yourself, and 90% of the time disclose events of interest relating to topics BUT yourself and any materially emotionally connected to you when dealing with co-workers or any individual that are bound to compete with you.

But be very aware, and I mean very aware, calculate your every move, plan and change strategies depending on the situation, be tough, and don't get personal cause it may jeopardize your very sane judgement. And this applies to ALL three social groups I mention above. And I strongly refuse to call it paranoia and prefer the term cautious because experience has taught me backs could be turned against you regardless of your existing relationship with that person.

As a closing statement, I know although I've lost all my wisdom tooth which has made me gone through excruciating pain I still am very convinced that the maturity and wisdom I gained is slowly riding its way up on a hierarchy ladder. The more I live and experience life (and fall and stumble and crumble), is the only rigid variable to get a little step higher on the ladder. The mystery of life correlates strongly with encouragement thus motivating me to continue striving for live has always personally been a main buffer to endure every suffering I've gone through.

Thanks God. For making life unpredictable as it is. Amen.

Inspiring Article #1

The failure of higher education in comparison to higher morals.
Please take a peek.

http://www.kompas.com/kompas-cetak/0601/21/opini/2384065.htm

Friends, The 10 Long Seasons, and The 1 Million Paycheck

Chandler Bing.
Joey Tribianni.
Ross Geller.
Rachel Green.
Monica Geller.
Phoebe Buffay.


Surely a list of names we all are quite familiar with. An unscientific speculation might quantify 9 out of 10 people with access to Western entertainment will pause for 0.07 seconds after finished reading the last name on the list and either shout, think, whisper, or any other dialogue (internally or externally) stating "Friends". The sitcom we want to replace our daily empty life and change it into having next door neighbours who are literally always their for us in joy and sorrow. Sometimes, I really wonder if watching six tv stars who get a huge lump of payment at the end of the is really therapeutic for the soul. Why else would millions of people including a lot of individuals I know collect the whole ten seasons of Friends and watch it in their leisure time. C'mon, spending your free time seeing six fictional character whose hang-out-at-cafe frequencies are 20 times more often than anybody else, fixating on difficult situational plot that is merely solved by laughter, and wishing on that falling star (that would for whatever reason never grant your wish at the first place) to enjoy an romantic heart pumping relationship mirroring Ross and Rachel's on and off flings is an expression of patheticness. Rather than comforting your bottom there's the actual world out there where things happen.


But, well if I am starting to blame pop culture entertainment which partly construct as a person today means degrading me into one of those self-denial people I won't. However, I am still bothered by the reality that writers depict the Friends way of life as the perfect life. Simple but bounded and close knited to each other. Is it the American lost dream because of the mobile individualized lifestyle subconciously connected to them resulting in the lost of a group shared comfort zone giving an inspiration to money monger producers creating this sort of sitcom? You must say that most Hollywoodesque product is the realization of the unfulfilled American psyche.


My point here is just to emphasize the need to stop idealizing this kind of stereotypical idolizing habit we have on popular culture or to be exact modern television programmes. There are many things we miss out from our own life. The much occuring tale is the things taken for granted. Sounds cliche and lame I guess but thats what actually matters. Take a deep breath. Think. Analyze your life. Look at all the pieces and slowly examine them. Then compare it to any other person whom you might envy. I'm sure you'll always figure out a way to highlight the better light your in. Because you are what you are. And there's nothing to change about it.









*A brief explanation for this post: Abstract spiraling words correlates with heighten anxiety and thats just the way it is.

romusha

Lending your hand for some organizational event: A$0/hour
Washing the mess people make when dining in restaurants: A$12/hour

The experience derived from those activities: priceless life lesson

There are some things money can't earn.
For everything else there's wisdom and the better sense of it.

Zing boom

*Di sebuah kafe toko buku di Jakarta

(sambil tersenyum)
"Ngerjain tugas?"
"Ngga.", jawabnya dengan mata terus terpaku pada layar laptop dan tumpukan buku serta kertas-kertas yang betebaran.
"Jadi, kamu penulis?", tanyaku mempersonakan stereotipi persistensi lelaki dan ketidakpekaannya atas halusnya jawaban "tidak" seorang perempuan.
"Nulis skripsi.", terdengar helaan nafas menyerah pada pertanyaan yang tidak diundang.
"Tentang?"
"Ga menarik, deh."
"Gmana, kalo saya yang menilai soal itu.", kataku sambil menatap kedua mata lelahnya yang terkurung dalam bingkai kaca chicnya.
"Persepsi masyarakat terhadap gender dan implikasinya terhadap peran wanita sebagai penafkah utama keluarga."
"Oh, seorang feminis."
"Seorang mahasiswi yang prihatin dengan sesama spesiesnya......"
(terpotong)
"..... yang semakin menarik seiiring berjalannya waktu."
"Oh, seorang playboy gombal."

Kutertawa.
Dia merebahkan diri di kursi lalu melepas kacamatanya dan meletakkannya diatas coffee table.
Tak bisa kulewatkan jam Patek Philippe berhiaskan berlian yang melingkar di sebelah kanan tangan mungilnya.

Luar biasa jumawa perempuan ini. Merayakan kemenangan sesaat atas dominasinya terhadap harkat paling dasar pria. Ia berpuas diri terlalu cepat.

"Kamu sering ke tempat ini?", kucoba mengganti topik sembari menunjuk kursi meminta persetujuannya untuk duduk semeja dengannya. Ia mengangguk pelan. Begitu pelan kudapat melihat wajahnya dari sepuluh sudut yang berbeda.

Kesemuanya menakjubkan.

"Mayan, tapi ga sesering kamu pick up cewe yang lagi duduk sendirian sibuk melakukan urusannya sendiri."

Sinisme seorang keturunan hawa. Betapa kubenci sekaligus memujanya.

"Saya kesini cuma buat membaca. Menambah ranah ilmu untuk memjawab ribuan pertanyaan hidup di otak saya ini."
"Jadi, kamu berubah profesi jadi filsuf?", tuturnya menyisakan senyuman tipis yang harusnya terlihat sinis entah mengapa bermetamorfosis menjadi sebuah gesture indah di kelimaindraku.

Please, stop putting words in my own mouth. But please, don't stop that appealling verbal abuse your are playing here.

"Mahasiswa jaman sekarang negative thinking ya. Apa karena karena usia saya kurang tua 20 tahun dan tidak berperut buncit?"
"Lihat sekarang siapa yang berpikiran negatif."
"Lho. Saya cuma nanya kok. Tidak perlu ada merasa tersinggungkan?"
"Lalu, selain mendegradasi perempuan muda dengan pertanyaan-pertanyaan. Kamu punya kegiatan lain?"
"Menulis beribu-ribu kata yang dasarnya merupakan kutipan dari orang lain dan berharap menjadikannya realita."
"Wartawan majalah gosip?"

(Kutersenyum, kali ini senyum nyata yang digerakkan kelembutan hati)

"Ngga perlu sarkastik. Saya seorang analis. Analis politik yang menghabiskan energinya membocorkan kelemahan negara ini kepada orang asing."
"Wah, berarti saya baru mendapatkan pembimbing menulis skripsi yang baik rupanya."
"Ya, itu bukan hak saya untuk menentukan. Tapi jika dipaksa, membantu tidak pernah ada salahnya."

(Lantunan lagu "It's So Quiet"-nya Bjork terdengar, rupanya HPnya berbunyi)

"Bentar ya.", ia mengambil tas Anya Hindmarch-nya dan mengeluarkan sebuah PDA Blackberry lalu melihat layarnya. Rupanya sebuah sms.

Sambil menunggunya membalas sms tersebut mataku menyapu lingkungan sekitar dirinya.

Ada dorongan aliran yang begitu deras untuk tahu lebih banyak mengenainya. Seperti pekaknya telinga oleh kerasnya teriakan dalam keheningan, gundahnya hati akan kepastian sebuah kebimbangan, dan silaunya mata oleh secercah sinar dalam kegelapan.

"Chuck Palahniuk tulisannya, gmana sih?", tanyanya tanpa melepaskan pandangan dari PDAnya.
"C-H-U-C-K P-A-L-A-H-N-I-U-K.", kueja satu per satu huruf demi huruf.
"Ok, thanks."
"Kenapa. Mau di puji sebagai seorang intellek ya.", kataku bercanda.
"Bukan. Mau ngetes aja apa bener kamu orang yang suka nongkrong di toko buku untuk baca.", balasnya dengan muka saya-tidak-mau-kalah-dalam-pembicaraan-ini.
"Jangan malu lagi. Emang ga semua orang berbakat spelling.", kumemancingnya sekali lagi.

(Ia tertawa. Tawa asli pertamanya yang kulihat hari ini. Tawa yang berakar dari kelegaan seorang manusia yang sudah lama dikukung rasa humornya oleh letihnya sebuah tanggung jawab.)

"Mau nitip bukunya yang Non-fiction ke temen. Disini belom keluar."
...............
(Hening)

Ia menengadah kepada seorang pria yang baru datang. Melambai kepadanya sambil tersenyum dan memeluknya seperti ia telah menemukan tujuan akhir daripada hidupnya. Kecupan pun mendarat di dahinya.
Ia berbicara pada lelaki itu sambil menunjuk ke meja tempat ia duduk. Tempat aku duduk sekarang.
Ia terlihat pergi dan lelaki itu menghampiriku.

"Halo.", ia berkata sambil menjulurkan tangannya untuk dijabat. "Andi."
"Devan."
"Temen kuliahnya Inta?"
"Bukan. Saya baru ketemu lagi ngebahas buku tadi."
"Ok.", sambil meletakkan remote mobil dengan lambang khas trisula terbalik Mercedes.
"Lo beruntung. Punya cewe yang wawasannya luas.", kuberusaha membuka pembicaraan sekaligus untuk meredakan wajah penuh kecurigaanya.
"Iya. Tapi gw suka ga bisa ngikutin. Dia kalo lagi baca buku kaya ga ada hari besok aja. Heran orang bisa betah banget.", ia berkata sambil membetulkan kerah polo shirt Fred Perry yang dikenakannya.
"Gw mending modif mobil. Ketauan jelas bisa kliatan.", lanjutnya.
Kumenahan rasa mual atas kedangkalan seorang makhluk hidup dan pelecehannya terhadap sumber pengetahuan umat manusia yang paling hakiki.
"Eh, gw mau cari-cari buku lagi ya. Nice to meet you."
"Ok, ok. Yuk."

Kuberjalan melalui lorong-lorong yang diapit rak-rak berisikan buku. Dari balik rak tersebutlah kulihat sang wanita yang telah menghentikan putaran waktu dan mengubah poros berputar bumi selama 2 menit.
Ia kembali ke kafe.
Duduk di pangkuan pacarnya dan merangkulnya.
Dari posisi itulah ia menangkap tatapanku dan membalasnya dengan senyum mengundang.
Menyisakanku bertambahnya satu lagi pertanyaan di otak ini.

Mengapa kita tidak ditakdirkan untuk bersama, sayang?

Another year, another smile, another tear

2005

Twenty years ago, you would see this number represented as a year in sci-fi movies with scenes of flying cars driving around suburbs above the clouds. Some optimistic fantasy writers we got back then. The reality is the increase of the American paranoia psyche on terrorism which now affects a major part of the world, a higher probability of getting some pandemic disease which doesn't stop to mutate in more deadlier versions, a larger hole in the ozon after us humans literally fuck her one times too many, Aussies and Frenchies chauvinism combined with Arabic exclusiveness to create a democracy style paradoxical riot and still many more depressing stories the world has to offer (and no, I despise being the barrier of bad news).

Oh, and how could I forget.

The beloved Indonesia.
A country blessed with rich natural resources, a culture of tolerance and helping hand with an accompanied friendly manner from its people. (This sentence gives full credits for the 12 longs years of Moral and Pancasila Education we were all brainwashed with.)

Where are you really going?

The economy.
A national debt thanks to some corrupt officials and their bussiness cronies will only be fully paid through taxation until our great grandson turns 40 years old. Look at the brightside. We won't have to live to see that dreaded moment.

The politics.
Money, money, money. You guys stand a better chance of winning The Apprentice (of course, by either bribing, intimidating, or poisoning Donald Trump first) than bothering to act as Robin Hoods in Armani suits and S-Class Mercedes.

The social.
Where do I start? A elementary school student hanging himself because his parent could'nt afford Rp. 2000 (A$ 0.27) for an extra-culliculer activity or a garbage peddler who transport his deceased malnourish son by hand carrying him using a train before the police stoped him and accused him of murder.

Humanity, oh humanity from the largest (moderate) Muslim population in this world.

A light hearted quote to end this depressing post (and year):

"Aku mau ke Wuuluuungaaabaaa" (N, 2005)

hahahahahahahaha.

And laughter is all we have.