Next Exit

The town of reckless abandon is the place I now fear the most. It was picture perfect back then like a pastel coloured painting. but eventually all colours fade away. I wish I saw more palm trees and rice fields complete with the farmers on the walls. They were what I call pure traditionalist. The belief in fulfilling three main neccessities (food, clothes, and shelter) is a priceless philosophy of life. Keep things simple. Cut back on the gadgets, branded items, and exotic food with trippy origins.

People are always afraid of what they don't know. They make up their own stories to cover the crippled feeling inside of their hearts. None of them seem anxious after justifying complex insecurities with pure gossip. I'm scare of the future and of the past. While handling the present time won't get me any commission if I were a salesman, I still don't feel there much to worry when we could know the outcome in split seconds. But, ruminating the past and the future now that takes manic depressive individuals like me to elaborate.

Power and emotion will never prevail against information and logic. Take that for a life advise. How logical would you expect to be when we are informed? The odds are we'll get beserk one too many time because of knowing things first hand. And information are like pieces of data on a computer. Incompatibility often occurs and you're harddisk will be the first to crash. By that time you'll get so pissed off and let emotion take the better side of you. Almost like fighting a losing battle except that you get the upper hand in the beggining of each war.

Games. Video games, basketball, politics, hearts. We all play games with them. Our main objective is put emphasis gaming as a positive word. That's why we take life as a game. As if it will not affect us in the long run. As if it is only play. As if it is as long as everybody is having fun let's tag along. Fuckers. You're just transforming tangible events into small scale incidents and hoping it'll be like looking through a microscope to detect the germs. You want to magnify the small things and forget the bigger landscape.

The Great Depression has began.

Leaving Brisbane Never Easy

I'm fucked.

"Why do you waste my time?
Is the answer to the question on your mind
And I'm sick of all my judges
so scared of what they'll find."
- The Killers, When You Were Young.

Revival of Fit-ness

Is this it?

Another goodbye to the former land of joy and hello to the latter land of misery.

The image leaving Jakarta and the arriving on the 20th of Febuary in Bribane can still be clearly pictured frame by frame.

The landing. The breakfast at Hungry Jack's Taringa and my first annoyance of Brisbane knowing that we are not entitled to complimentary tomato sauce. Meeting the full of smile manager Jenny and her husband Peter. Going to Wollsworth Toowong, K-Mart Indoroophily, and Coles City finding for appliances and food stock. Bought my handphone number and did'nt even bother to memorize it. I spearheaded the first day as it was another transit city where we would stay in the airport's international teritory and avoided any local contact. Wrong cavalier typical move.

The next day and four month on I had the same attitude. I almost had the urge of droping out from uni and going back home. But my high self-regard for perseverance took control. I achieved good academic results despite I also excelled in the self-blame, self-pity, and complaining department. There was no one to reach out and my excess need for comfort turned out to become a self-destructive weapon.

Three other semester passed by.

To graduate or to stay.

Luckily, I passed. I bowed to Allah three times and praise this blessing that was handed upon me.

I survived. I learn things that are meant to be learned first hand. There was lectures and field observation that you won't find in any classroom. I met the right people, possesed the flexible attitude, and studied the smart way.

The cyclical circle has found its way to my life yet again. Now, I can't barely imagine leaving this state of comfort.

The real true friends, the clean air, the hydrophonic plants, the quiet lonely nights, the speed of light broadband internet, the quality time in suburbs, the center of academic excellence, the egalitarian outlook, the respect for law, the added value on humanity, the single fighting for life struggles, the keep your mouth shut philosophy, the expanded taste for music, the appreciation for culture, the mind bending conversations, the sharing, the togetherness, the addiction towards video games, the laundry, the house cleaning, the grocery shopping, the financial management, the independence in waking up, the experimental cooking, the sit down feasts, the long nights doing assignment, the cramming for exam, the excessive usage of caffein and nicotine, the basketball court, the river jogging, the bus timetable, the breeze on the city cat, the dampness of trains, the summer heatwave, the calming falling leaves of autumn, the winter hibernation, the smell of jacarandas on spring, the long walk to the uni, the study cubicle in the library, the magnificent lolly shop, the overpriced noodle bar and refac, the boys talk, the gossips, the crazy prank schemes, the awkward adaption from one group to the next, the being exclusive and acomodative at the same time, the everday life in Brisbane.

Jakarta I'm coming. Another time and space to handle.

Happy New Year, guys.