Digital Wisdom

The state I’m in reflects the old saying, “History shall repeat.” By all means and respect toward the sunken states I’ve been through this should be a no problemo condition. However, the manipulation of objects can sometime pull in the opposite direction we desired. This is not the airport. This is the holy land. We don’t congregate to fill the empty bottoms on our sacred glass soul in the transit zone. We sit, walk, run, stand tall, duck, jump, bow, hit the ground, slam the wall, smash the windows and everything in between that is needed to keep our land unharmed. Imagination is obsolete in this point while reality checks are sometimes overused. Look ahead the plane has not been canceled this and you have’nt earn a spot in the bussiness class. There goes your flight. Do something. Something costly but worthwhile. Don’t sit on your comfy sofa, order takeaway, and munch your way to another movie that fits your mood. Go rent a car and drive to your destination. Even better, bribe the guy in the shadows ask for the empty seat or a place in the bagage. If you get crumped because of the turbulence, let that teach another lesson for not being punctual.

There is always the turning point to feel down. The basic principle is that the 1st prize winner comes out smiling and feeling proud inside and the runner up weeps. It’s competition. You’re the best or the last. Although already proven to be dangerous some of us won’t take a deep breath and reconsider the alternate options. Believe me it ain’t leadership driving attributes. It’s childish behavior at the very highest level. The only objective is to come out as the trophy holder. An ultimate prize that clouds the very meaning of competition. Progress, that is. After you have prove you’re the champ what comes next? Clueless you must be on how such a small matter has turned into a big mess. Now, the table has turn once again. The other team has the leverage. Smell the exitement, the conflicts, the tactics, the lobbying, aaah the scent of competition. Ok Sir, put my name in that tournament. Oh, yes I’m sure. Just tick yes on the disclaimer. Fuck it, I’ll read it later. Thanks.

I asked the Jedi Master to read out my mind. He did that without missing a single beat. Things are going to happen as I’m lossening my cannon once again. Don’t ask for advice or prediction of the next best apocalypse we’ll have to face. I’m going to do it anyway. I’m just trying to share a piece of my burden. Well done. I’ll get back to you, Master. When all is said and done.


*The initial idea of this post and some vital excerpts are taken from conversations with the Jedi Master. Most of the creative material should be credited to the Jedi Master. Salute.

The Mystery Machine

Kamu harus cepat pulang
Walau sedang nikmati malam ini
Mereka ga pernah mengerti
Mereka ga mau mengerti
Mereka ga akan mengerti
Itu pasti

- Slank, Kamu Harus Cepat Pulang

There has been productivity in the last three days. Although the lack of acting out behavior cause me to internalize petit scrambled thoughts and emotions inside. It was only a small city. The majority of the spent time were in tiny apartments or mini town houses. Even the activities were very segmented. Outsiders would have perceived our release of mania as very unsatisfying. Label it with prejudice and you'll come up with a singular word to describe it. Low-life. Yes. They did'nt bother to see it from the other side of the lighter traffic. To the actors it was pure candor and enlightening experience. It was something I would'nt have appraise before but now it has hit my consciousness on the meaning of "friends in need friends indeed".

A little video just blurted out my repressed craving for old times sake. Especially when life in the big village has changed dramatically since I left. I should post something about it, but I'll need catastrophic cognitive processes. So lets store the bad things and bury it somewhere. If it crawls out, wait until stability is achieved. Don't mess up thing now when the minds too busy doing more generative achievements. For the first time in my life, I made the decision to stop contact. None of the marathon race, dissapearing act, nor hide and seek tactical approach. Modifying Fasial Basri's - a man I believe is strong in ethics - statement, I knocked the door with pure intentions and I ask permission to leave with my best regards. Okay it was more like a thump than a polite knock. It was my debut. Sorry for the bad exit. Also, for the thousand times in my life I prefer to wait for the golden spoon being stuffed in my mouth after the second serving did'nt prove to be as sweet as the first. Of course, I know nothing comes easy it's all hard work. But maybe I'm the luckier one, putting low input and obtaining good results. Or maybe, I just have'nt reliazed the systematic chain of command and line of production. It's an unsolved enigma. Do call Scooby and the gang.

I need the excessive caffein and nicotine with vegie for my celebratory reward. There needs to be urgency and pressure. The academic chaperone is a carbon copy of myself. Reckless, poor time management, and very very very laid back. I need immense internal motivation but all I have is another justification. According to a recent study it was concluded that Indonesians are mostly motivated to contribute for job-related purpose due to external reinforcement and punishment, such as higher commissions and supervison. See, don't blame me blame my genes (another concrete example of Indonesian externalization).

Paraskevidekatriaphobia

We stepped on the wrong pedestal from the beginning. The first step was always shaky but nothing could prevent the movement. My options were to prevail on volcanic earth shattering grounds or passively enjoy the blue skies above the quicksand. I tend to avoid tedious follow through while my risk management policy is almost ideological to Adam Air’s safety features. Frederich Nietzsche has officially been appointed as my favorite person to quote. Next cognitive burnout will be awarded to Thus Spoke Zarasuthra and not to Tajfel and Turner’s social identity theory. Guess what. We Indonesians (read: Easterners) tend to interact and blend freely with our in-group members whereas at the same time we project high levels of distrust towards out-group members. Another sophisticated way to intellectually underline our stronger source of alliance, primordialism and ethnocentrism.

Cynicism lately has been the ultimate projection weapon. It’s sharper than a sphere but has the handier attributes of a gun. There are feminist components and passive-aggressive compounds to the usage of the approach. I’ll waiver the right to be correct this time and day. The old era buffer clicks are entangled in their own self-conflicting changes. The tough macho pride honor also constricts one another to concede initial involvement, thus rather miserably watch the tube and surf the webs. I’m inconsistently blaming the technology era while soberly discerning that this is more of an overzealous attempt to accept abrupt change. On the other hand, transitions never do go as they are planned. No wonder I’m finding armchairs, rocking chairs, designer chairs and aeron chairs. The last one mentioned is the designated spot to lie down. But my logic is too messed up to actually contribute to the decision making process. I’ll just stand up and trust my impulses to make rational judgment.

The sacred vows are stay home during this weekend and finish the final academic requirement. Will power factors are on the line. Perseverance is the main motor of this scheme. Self-control serves as the guiding foundation. However, it all comes to internal integrity. A promise you can only make to yourself without pressures from outside. Let’s see how courageous a man is to obey his own principle. Over and out, captain.





P.S.: The telephone bills have gone through the roof. It’s time to pinpoint on closure. Real continuing closure. So help me God.

Judicious

I bow.
Every journey has the one story you don't forget.
I appraise.
This path leads to golden lakes.
I admire.
The smimmer between those fingers.
I salute.
That hidden strength you strangle.
I alone.